A Diary About More Funny Thoughts To Ponder

Here is another set of funny thoughts that just pop into my head at the end of each day. I have a goal just to take a humorous way of looking at things. I have no intention to single out any specific group of people, any category or topic. I have no attitude of negative feelings and I accept everyone no matter where they have come from or what kind of life that they lead. So keep reading, have fun, smile and laugh if you can. Life is to be enjoyed.

1. A mental-list (mentalist)is really a way of remembering what to do without writing it down.
2. If common sense is practical thinking, then common sensation is practical feeling.
3. What kinds of Food are there? Food for thought: Knowledge Food for the soul: God's Word. Food for the stomach: Anything that is edible. Food for the birds: They don't even worry about it.
4. The unjust that thrust into lust are hard to trust.
5. If visually impaired beings from Mars are called "Myopic Martians" , then is it fair that we call visually impaired beings from Venus "Venetian Blinds"?
6. At the end of a birthday party, a child will go home with a goody bag. What would a child experience if he or she arrive home with a "baddy" bag?
7. If a person's last name described that person's profession, then how much is Mrs. Butter Worth?
8. If we could fish for jelly, how would the jelly fish?
9. We humans surf the Web with the click of a mouse. Ducks take on the surf with feet that are webbed. Spiders use a web to trap and store their food. Now, how then, could the animal kingdom use the world wide web? (Weird world we live in!)
10. England calls soccer "football". America calls England's football "soccer". I think we should call American football the "Pigskin Punt".
11. Solve the mystery of the monastery: How did they uncover the coveting in the convent? Were they conventional? Did anyone get converted? Did they become cowardly? Did the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" enter the scene saying,"Cowabunga"? And if the crime was not solved, one could leave there saying they had seen "none"(nun)!
12. The event of occurrence without physical effort may be called "automation". Yet the event of occurrence that is produced by seasonal changes could be called " Autumnation".
13. For Colon health, we should eat more fiber. For Cable TV health, we may need more "Fiberoptic".
14. A Mom has taken her young children to the farm, The younger offspring asked when looking at the cows, what are their names. After thinking for a minute, the mom said, "Well, there's Gus, an' Gus, an' Gus, an' Gus, an' Gus............"
15. What do they keep in "Poughkeepsie"?
16. Realize that: the chicken you pluck, will soon not cluck, The rooster you roast, in the morning, not boast, and the turkey you fry, will never again lie!
17. If you feel hungry, first satisfy your thirst. If you eat too fast, you get hungry sooner. It is better to savor every bite rather than gobble your food like you have missed your bus. It is not a bad idea to stop and smell the flowers.
18. Bodies should be installed with anti virus programs. After all, we need to take probiotics to correct the side effects of antibiotics.
19. Waiting to exhale- cause of the reason one may turn Blue in the face; You cannot go proxy by causing "hypoxy"
20. Can you "tweek" your antique? When you polish it, does it squeak?
21. If condors could have lived in a condominium, perhaps pandas could have lived in pandemonium?!
22. Do short action heros live in "Smallville"?

23. A Whale Of A Tale: The True Porpoise Of Living a novel by C. Gulls.

May You Have A Smile On Your Face! Always try to see the humor in everything!